Its been awhile since I have posted and for the most part have been feeling pretty uninspired. Not just when it comes to writing but when it comes to life. I have been in, what I have been calling ,a funk. Not sure really what its all about and where it came from but its here and at this point I am just trying to ride it out.
I think part of it has to do with all of the changes that have happened in the past year. I mean I have found I was pregnant, got engaged, moved to a new house and neighborhood, started a new job, had a baby, got married, lost said job, had surgery, turned 30, and now here I am.
A full fledged stay at home who feels completely out of her element.
I know I am not the only one out there, I just dont know if I am the only one who is terrified to make new friends. Being a parent is competetive and uncomfortable and honestly I am not here to compete. Its not in me. I just want to meet new people who love being a parent as much as I do, who dont feel the need to go tit for tat. I really just want to fit in.
And lately I dont feel like I do. I have met some really great people but I have no idea how to engage them in activities outside of our kids. I feel like I am imposing, I get awkward and unsure of myself even more.
I am not sure I have ever said it outloud but sometimes I am not really sure how many friends I have and who my friends are. I feel like I have more aquaintances than anything and honestly its a little bit lonely.
So thats all I've got. A funk...hopefully it will go away soon, but until then I am just going to ride it out.
